look mom i can use fancy words!

You want to change this. There is something fundamentally flawed in the premise, and these things are never meant to be taken at face value, no matter what Occam claims. This will take time. You will let go because this is something you refuse to do improperly. You will come back with your shield or on it, and be told: you will not. Be carried back. 

For now, all you have are your intentions. Today was not so good. But you will try tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Because your hand is clenched so tightly over your left breast that you would not give him over for anyone less. Not even yourself. 

It is the irony that gets you. You are finally growing up and facing the vulnerability and it makes you feel like you're twelve again. Oh, you would wax poetic. Would that you could hate him for this, but there is nothing to hate. You cannot even use the time-tested and plead disrespect, because such a thought is laughable. The last time anyone garnered such loyalty and regard through so little, you were a child clinging to your brother with wide eyes. 

Though, you don't understand much. The necessity of a heart that beats like the opening lines of Waldstein. The way the minutiae of someone else's life can mean so much to you. The way you rest your forehead on the shower wall and draw tiny hearts into the condensation.  Still, for all of that, you took some things away. Skin under your fingers. Brief seconds in someone else's life. Most notably this: you love someone hopelessly as you haven't done in years. It rings false because you have no idea what it is to pursue, and it rings true because this may very well be that mythical selflessness. 

You were due for this. You were due to learn how to love and expect nothing back. Your suitors were far braver men than you, for this. You'll try tomorrow to loosen the grip a bit. It might work, or it might not. After all, you would have no other. You couldn't. It tightens as you drift asleep. 

 

*is incredibly intimidated by the isye grad classes*

*kind of does not want to take them next semester*

*panic panic panic*

 

oO_Oo

---

ETA: DUDE. they have a class where you can do IC fabrication!!!!!!!!!! that's seriously the most awesome thing ever. also i'm gonna take that class on shakespeare next spring...

lessons from andy stanley

Everyone needs emotional and moral margin. So that when culture pushes you a little further, you can account for room for error.

How far you should go with someone: =>how far you want your future spouse to have gone with their past someone.

No one ever said 'I wish my standards had been lower.' or 'I wish I had slept with more people.'

1 year off: was not supposed to be about not dating. It's supposed to be about God. I unintentionally tried finding loopholes, and while I cut dating out, I didn't cut boys out. It's not about boys anymore. It was never supposed to be.

God is not against anything. He is for someone. He's not against money. He's for us, where money has no hold over our hearts.

[cue music]

jettisoned to the center of the storm

k I tried getting into oil, but contango and backwardation are kinda over my head. =/ 

I think it will be really weird getting used to having a microwave again. Seriously, heating up food in a matter of minutes, without a stove. It's going to be awesome. 

Two incredibly, incredibly attractive people got together recently. When I found out, I won't lie; I was pretty jealous. Probably because I was thinking about where I stood with the Law Of Numerical Attractiveness (tm) and because sometimes you just have to face when people are out of your league. So it mildly bothered me for about 15 minutes until I realized I'd give it all up in a heartbeat for you. And then I didn't think about it for the rest of the day. I guess that's the power of prioritization. I think it nothing short of a miracle how everyone is a different person, and that while two people may have the same qualities, no one will ever, ever be replaceable. I could talk about character traits until I'm blue in the face and someone could come along exactly like that and it wouldn't matter because it's not you. It's a beautiful thing, don't you think? 

It also amazes me how long a person can hold a one-sided conversation through sheer will. (gg, man, seriously.) And how people aren't as ignorant as I thought, just that we can't bear to let go. 

aw man my supervisor comes back tomorrow. accountability sucks! meh, so it goes. 

crazy bought maps

cooking with canned tuna is usually a no no.

frying it with leftovers for fried rice tastes strangely like home and taiwan at the same time.

you know, eating really dry, preserved salted fish with rice and other things.

suddenly homesick...

 

i like

blue

DUCKS AND I CANNOT LIE

you other feathers can't defly

cuz when a bird walks in to an itty bitty grape

with a round string in its place you get

FLUng. 

Swear I was born right in the doorway

FRIDAYFRIDAYFRIDAYFRIDAYFRIDAY

Lunch went okay! Wasn't too awkward, which was surprising. I learned the meaning of the word 'varmints'. (sp?) Which apparently Texas has a lot of. Also etiquette dictates that seniority pays, but I am having none of that. And lucky Fred is going to a bbq where his friends make their own beer. In a darkly comedic way, those guys had been laid off so they pretty much spent the whole week making beer. Given that kegs go for ~75 (trufax)....it's like growing your own food! Ssssoooorrrt of. 

k, I can't stand bright eyes. But I keep trying to find a song that describes it, and this is the only other one that does.

pretty much the best dinner ever: cheeseburger with a fried egg on top and fries with mayo. om nom nom nom. 

I realize now that all of our issues, while no less real, are so childish. And that's okay, because we're still children. We're still young and stupid, and it's going to take some time. We don't know the first thing about anything that matters. But that selfishness is what's owed to us. It's the summer breaks we get off from school, which are characteristic of students and quickly disappear as we go. So I don't mind when other people are working out the kinks, or if they're just by nature selfish people. I hope they can be as forgiving of my self absorbedness and other faults. 

It's going to be really strange going back to atl. So many asians. Not enough people with trucks and extensive knowledge about machines. I might...actually...miss that, maybe. Except for Mustang Fred. Mustang Fred has a yellow mustang. (gg)

=/

It's no use 
Mother dear, I 
can't finish my 
weaving 
You may 
blame Aphrodite 

soft as she is 

she has almost 
killed me with 
love for that boy

_sappho

 

this is definitely something new.

my life

my mom and i call each other during the day to discuss the stock market. 

sometimes she knows to hang up quickly ("it won't go to 30.90. better limit at 30.80." *it goes up to 30.98 in the next 10 minutes*) the ensuing conversation pretty much goes like

• me: "mom!!!!!" D: D: D: DDDDDD: 
• mom: "lololol" 

and other times i am all like collect! collect!!! 40% profit in a foreign alternative energy is weird!! and she marks it at 12 and the day's high is 11.99. 

gawd. the lawls. 

off your lips in slow currents

so i was reading about Apple today when they were all like blah blah blah pretty good AND THEN THE IPHONE HAPPENED. and like. idk it's just me but i wouldn't ever want to own one. they're too shiny and cool-looking. i would feel the compulsive need to wipe the cover every 5 minutes with a soft cloth and cradle it in my hand, while swiping gently at the touch screen. no. absolutely not. i need a phone with buttons i can mash. it has to survive the Bottom Of The Purse. and being flung onto the bed from across the room, even the times when it misses the bed and hits, say, the wall. hypothetically speaking. cough

i'm convinced the stock market will be the thing that finally teaches me patience. or, you know, gives me a lifelong pavlovian aversion to the color red.

in a classic case of Custodian v. Employee, everyone has now been ducking under the caution tape to use the bathroom. the custodians then got kinda annoyed and taped over it with LOTS OF TAPE and a Very Clear Sign. and then i heard this guy across the hall say "oh heck no. i'll slip through that tape, just watch me." (infeasible) and now all of it has been mysteriously cleared away and thrown in the trash can. guess we'll see what happens tomorrow :0

i found your song. i found your song. i found your song. after trying a couple out to moderate success, it appeared. and it is so unmistakeably and completely yours. 

anyways, how you know you're with cat interns: we were coming home from dinner and maria is all like what's making that noise in the trunk? and peter is like it's rattle. and i am like rattle? like baby rattle? and peter goes nah, rattle like with torsion. and goes on a 2 minute explanation. and i am like woah, so cool. and chris is like lawl. 

and now that i've made your brains regress a few years thanks to the way that conversation was written, good night~

skin new, hands true

dude, the dow went up almost 500 points today. 

GG.

and as much as i now want to collect profits, things have worked out so that i could stand to wait a while. as in a couple months. or years. ugh, patience. 

but the junior gold miners still make me kind of uncomfortable.

anybody up for zaxby's when i come back? gahhhhhhhhh!!!! ~____~ 

in other news, today was really really warm! also i feel like no matter how much we say, we're all equally as transparent. 

what else happened today. ummm i had to find the only open bathroom out on production floor since they closed the ones in the office. first foray out into the floor, came back 2 minutes later. second attempt, ended up getting lost and wandering through the undercarriage part of the building. then after that it was kind of like. 

• me: >___<'' *wanders around the building for 5 more minutes*
• me: *stops*
• me: 
• me:
• me: *goes back inside office building*
• me: *ducks under yellow caution tape and ignores giant BATHROOM CLOSED sign*
• me: *walks back to cubicle 3 minutes later*
• karla:  so did you find it?
• me:  yep.

seriously guys! don't laugh! the freaking building is as big as northview, but with dangerous machinery and multiple furnaces in heat treat that look like they belong in the gates of Hell. 

on another related note, i get to cook steak this week, woohoo :]

a list of the greatest things ever

• frozen custard
• seagull ftp
• stuffed penguins
• afternoon naps
• woot.com
• Portal
• zelda (OoT)
• mario
• andy stanley and northpoint community church
• nintendo DS
• zaxby's hot wings

in other news, the way i see it: everything you do, you pay a price for. so if what you gain is that your perception shifts so drastically that scales might as well have literally fallen off, well. it's not surprising that what you pay is equally as vast. so i'm not happy about it. but i'm not sorry, either. 

a slow revealing of the anon love meme

you came so late in the year that it seems kind of unfair. god, though, you make me feel so.. so different. so happy. so much. i dont know what to do, when you're moving on and on and i am gasping behind you, trying to catch my breath. trying to salvage my power and dignity, lying in heart shaped pieces obediently before you like they've known you all their lives.

that's what you get when you let your heart win

 

/agree

 

wall street took such a beating today...

since our plant's on shut down next week and there's only gonna be 7/hundreds of people in our building there (yes, the two interns are one of those 7) we've decided. ROLLER CHAIR DERBY. that's right. rolling rolly chairs down the hall with tbd-jousting implements and or flying cubicle magnets. and possibly brandon's nameplate. jk. probably only nick's. 

nick was the one who suggested it, but when i asked him if he wanted to take part he said, "can't do it while we're here...we wanna keep our jobs lol. just take pictures." 

i've been racking my brain but no one compares. no one even comes close.

i was emailing my dad through the day talking about random things like dwindling manf jobs, price of gold/silver, GLD conspiracies, when i was like o btw does mom want to start a garden? 50 dollars worth of seeds = 1200 dollars worth of produce. might be a good project. 

he replied, "i forwarded this to mom. i can hear her yelling now."

 

 

priorities

you know, i can't say i feel too bitter.

after all, i got the only part that mattered. 

oh jeebus. did i really just drop 1k on random gold stocks that i decided over the course of five minutes? 

after i pressed the ok button i was kind of like OH HAI J, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT THROUGH A LITTLE MORE.

on the other side of the coin, can the Fed just unilaterally print 1.2 trillion USD from nothing?

so we'll see in the next few months.

 

you are everything i want, 'cause you are everything i'm not

my inarticulate storebought hangover hobby kit, it talks

and it says, "you, oh, you are so cool." 

emo songs. i won't lie, i totally love emo songs if i can relate to them. the sadder melodramatic ones, not so much. but the whole "under the cork tree"-esque where it's all self loathing and desperation and "oh screw you," that crap i eat up with a spoon. 

i totally love this song, btw.

why:

because the market's not complicated. 

it's uncertain, but at the end of the day you have in your hands (or account, rather) the effects of what you'd sown. so you sold on the low. that's what you have. so you got out early. that's what you have. 

with people, sometimes you do all the right things and it still doesn't work anyway. sometimes you're the most beautiful, wonderful girl i know, and you've never been truly kissed. no one deserved someone more than her. but that doesn't matter because that's not how it works. it is completely arbitrary. 

what's more? the market's not selfish, and i never, ever lost respect for it. 

so that's why. because if i had any sense at all, i'd grow up, give thanks, and find something to preserve. i have no use for anything useless. 

WAITING FOR TOMORROWZ?

pretty accurate, in light of all the optimism from the 4 day rally. also pretty cute. pretty cute. (lawl until we get the finance sector in somewhat passable condition, this is so not the bottom....never trust CNBC)

buh. sleep. 

who has to know?

i'll keep you my dirty little secret

don't tell anyone, or you'll be

just another regret

I'M SO CONFUSED

gg. i just spent literally 3 minutes convincing myself it was wednesday. because for strange reasons, i thought it was tuesday. wait, it really is wednesday right? because like. i think today was pizza day. and wednesday's always pizza day. tomorrow's thursday, right? 

breath is fast and the trains are slow

i remember the little things best. yellow t shirts as bright as the sun and almost as warm. allen's face on the first day of work. sharing a smirnoff ice by the pool with a few friends. drinking cream soda with my brother. 

hahahahahaha sneaking downstairs at 6:45 in the morning in 4th grade for some strange reason and hiding underneath the piano. while he came in, turned on the light, and stood there for a few moments. he can't see me. he can't see me, i thought. geez. looking back on it now, i really wonder what was going through his head.

when i think about it, if i ever liked you, i probably remember your exact position when i first saw you. even if i didn't. like you that way, i mean. the brain has a nifty little way of remembering things concerning people who will mean something to you. it was shaun, sang, minhee on that couch, in that order. zack, chris, sean, when i first met them. though i only remember the outline of sean's face. can't remember much of kevin's face anymore, but i can tell you the color of the frog he caught on my driveway and exactly where he sat in the library when he looked up and caught me staring. 

the second floor lounge with my boys. man, i miss them all. foreman, sang, minhee, shaun, hang, rosh, pratik. i really wanna say those were my happiest memories that year. 

walking arm in arm with emily down the hmart aisles every friday. late night talks on stephanie's bed. MAWR MAWR MAWR MAWR. eating chocolate covered strawberries with her from lexington on a sunny day. and chocolate covered strawberries by the pool. (is there a theme here?) making green tea out of my ghetto water boiler and eating ginger snaps and barbeque buns with ginger on a makeshift table. getting so sugar high off peanut butter cake and twirling down the hallways. the shape of the cup of water hibisca handed me in the morning after studying all night and feeling like crap. the layout of the room as we played filler on kongregate. 

getting up at 5am to go to a freaking waffle house in destin. or was it 1 am?3 am? whatever am; it was AM enough to ensure that going to bed after eating would be an Incredibly Bad Idea.  and 'delicious little balls'. 

so don't tell me to forget the useless information. it's precious. 

 

but saying what you mean is not one of them

the most interesting things always happen to me at walmart.

these two guys my age, probably a year or two younger, approached me today and asked me for money. i gave them a dollar, because while REALLY SKETCHY DRUGGIE JUNKIE looking, he also smiled and was really polite and i am kinda weak like that. 

now i'm kinda worried they needed food.

course, they could be trying to buy alcohol. so...idk i should have asked them. 

and then a random guy saw me in the water section and commented on how it was messed up that we had to read the labels on water. like "hmm i wonder what's in this. water, maybe?" he was pretty awesome.

and then the man stocking beef said hi to me! ever since coming here, i find that when random people say hi, it makes me v. happy. 

the end.

 

 

Tell yourself nothing's happened
You feel okay when you're asleep
It's the same mistake you keep making
You wake alone but you're not free

All your friends may go
and your luck may go
but you never feel as bad as when she goes 
It's all I know

All the time you were happy
It makes the end so hard to take
How a voice can fill a room like singing
the crooked moon upon her face

All your friends may go
and your luck may go
but you never feel as bad as when she goes
It's all I know

All I know
Some move like they were blinded 
some never let it show
I knew somehow, I'd have to let it go.

 

have you ever met someone that was just so skilled at twisting that knife in? frankly, it's a bit amazing.

picspam

so i stumbled upon this sort of outrageous british teen drama which i don't really plan to watch more than two episodes of because it's like gossip girl (but arguably better or so they say?).

conclusion: i now have a ridiculous tv!crush on nicholas hoult that actually rivals that of adam brody. 

how so attractive, nick? 

(lol)

(yeah the juxtaposition is intentional)

we must all let go of the breath that we hold

it's so easy to take for granted what i have.  in high school, we're too busy in our TEENAGER LIFE ZOMG to really care about anyone but ourselves. in college, we're surrounded by those who are smart and those who are smarter. of course there will be stupid people who like. run into doors and giggle or something, or sleep around. but for the most part, at tech, they then get up and head off to chem lab. adults consist of crazily intelligent theorists and research pioneers; anyone else tends to be parents. which i have found: my mother has never been wrong about anything where it mattered. stop worrying, i'll say. and then she's proven right. and then she proceeds to cook dinner and do my laundry. 

so given this type of environment, my world is so narrow, like the frog in the well who can only see a small circle of the sky. 

coming here, then, where most of the workers are over 40 with no college experience and doubtful high shcool education, is jarring. because i see how it looks in my mind as i read these words, and it's completely different when i'm surrounded by those actual people. 

walking in the shop, having a processor explain how the machines work; they cut in with their own comments. they're helpful. kind hearted. they smile, and one of them reaches out with a bucket of gum and urges us to take a few pieces.  some of them will mutter under their breaths about interns, but who could hardly blame them. 

"i'll be timing," i say to one of the guys running a test machine. "cycle time?" he responds, and i nod. the words sound reluctant on his lips, as though he's grasping for understanding. like that annoying kid in your class who asks questions with advanced terminology to seem smarter and suck up to the teacher. only this guy's not annoying. he's curious and grasping for straws because he wants to know something more. then, one of two things.

i never, ever want to take learning for granted. i'm surrounded every day by people two or three times older than me, all of whom probably wish they could have the same education. i know, i just know that when i get back to tech, i'll be complaining like i've done for the past three years about tests and late nights and stupid group projects. especially with senior design coming up soon. but geez, when i think about it now, every day i spent and will spend there suddenly seems so precious. it's both humbling and depressing, realizing where i am but realizing where they are, too.

it was easier when everyone around me was young and capable. to go on thinking this was all there was to the world. a world where everyone is in constant demand for your mind and skills, and your future shines bright with possibility. all we have to do is consent to try a little harder. they don't have that option, and i cringe a little to think of the bitterness they might feel. like how one of my friends came back with a green belt the other day. a second year! and i was like D: D: D: . i imagine it must be about one millionth of what they feel. 

my dad always tells me to appreciate tech, or just college in general, because i don't know how many other people would like to be where i am. but i never-- you know? i never--

until i came here. 

being around these people. their utter unrefined goodness makes me completely reevaluate what i thought the worth of a person was. of course there will be christian learnings in which we supposedly already know this. but i am not so naive as to believe none of us would feel (wrongly) ashamed of being a management major. we've all, at one point, considered ourselves better than our friends. 

i guess what i'm saying is--high school? you know, in that stage where the number of APs they take determines their sense of entitlement and they go on and on about college. and you wanna shake them by the shoulders and say once you get to college, none of that matters. there will be people smoking pot who are preternaturally gifted in computer coding and presidential scholars who write erotic poetry. your APs don't determine your personality, and how successful you'll be. maybe it's a factor, but then, so is everything. and then in college, i feel like someone should have shaken me--shaken all of us-- and said  this doesn't make you better than someone who studies communications at UGA. not better than journalism at georgia state, and not better than management at tech. there's someone hundreds of miles away who never made it past high school, with graying hair and a dirty shirt. he'll pull out a chair for you, and if you're bored he'll go get his rusty 10 year old radio, fish out an extension cord, and plug it in. 

you hear stories like this all the time. but when i realized it, i realized it. it hits with a terrifying clarity, and it's so terrifying because the truth is irrefutable. 

ugh long post is long

mawr

oh and this made me really, really happy:

• sean: wait so when do you turn 13? i mean 21. 
• me: september. wait, hey. 
• sean: getting trashed?
• me: yes! wait. maybe. wait. no. well. maybe? maybe not trashed. 
• brian: did you say september? man, we're gonna have to wait forever. 
• sean: looks like we're gonna have to make a trip to georgia in september.
• brian: or we could fly her up here.
• sean: but then we'd have to fly her up here, buy her drinks, and fly her back down. too much money.
• brian: pah. buy her a six pack and she'll be gone by the third one.
• me: WILL NOT. *insulted*
• everyone: *stares skeptically*

yeah, i'm absurdly fond of them. and they can fix trucks! and run test cells on transmissions. <3

got my veins all tangled close

it's been a really, really long time since someone left bruises on my wrists. i wanna say high school? when they were all black on purple on green on yellow and disgusting looking.

  

still feels pretty awesome. 

 

i suppose when every sore muscle or bruise back then meant you were getting that much stronger, i'm not surprised i developed masochistic associations. martial arts will do that sometimes.

or possibly i am a little bit twisted. 

sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost

i do not. want to put on my contacts and change out of my basketball shorts. and go out. 

but i'm going to. because i couldnt worm my way out of it. 

i guess everyone needs to eat, right?

we're going to the sketchiest club/bar/grill place imaginable. i'm not even exaggerating. it's like a rickety old house. it's going to either be the worst thing ever or the best. 

i guess we'll see who else comes.

argh. debummification time.........now. 

i'd rather go it alone (na na na na na na)

today they were all like yeah, we need you to break this database up into 7 fields. which doesnt mean anything to anyone else, but is somewhat similar to the END OF ZE WORLD. 

have you ever looked at people and just known, from the way that they act and the things that they say, they they are gonna be great executives/bosses? you know, the kind where if every ceo and cfo were like that, we'd have no problems whatsoever? that's my supervisor. 

i mean, yeah, i do wonder what i would be doing instead if they hadn't closed down the place i was supposed to be working at in mossville. actual engineering? but i guess manf&prod is good too. 

yeah sure, the rules are there for a reason. but to me, coloring inside the lines all the time makes life a little less colorful. so what if people look at me funny, or question the things i do. or think of me differently because of the things that i say, or the people i touch. do you honestly think i regret it? do you think i'm going to say "you're right. you're so right, i'm not going to do that anymore. i don't know what i was thinking. that's unbecoming of me." 

well screw that. i'm on a mission, okay? i wanna try everything (exept for incest and folk dancing). and possibly not bunjee jumping, because augh O_O. so yeah, i wanna meet your friends who are smoking hookah by the volleyball net. let's go to the pottery workshop, or paint some mugs. have a few beers with the guys on a friday night. cook with an eggplant (it turned out delicious, by the way.). finish reading the bible the whole way through, even the boring geneology. let's go fumble around awkwardly with a tennis ball and a racket, or go exploring that abandoned insane asylum with the vaulted room that's too big to be a refrigerator. 

(on second thought, maybe that was better as just a one time thing.)

got a joint? i'll take a hit. cig? maybe once too. make a snowman with raisin eyes (my mom made fun of me the entire day because it was lopsided), date a girl, eat a slice of key lime pie from key west. get into that strange man's car because he keeps waving candy at me. LOL JAYKAY. 

yeah, i can see how people would think i'm not as avid a christian because of some of that. heck, even i think that sometimes. but i don't think trying new things is somehow going to impair my decision making, or make me an alcoholic, or stop me from having daily QT or nightly prayer. if that were the case, then i suppose time would be my worst enemy. i never stopped loving God, or wanting to glorify Him, and i really don't think i will. despite the spiritual cycles that every christian goes through. after all, i may eat more fruit some days than others, but i still know it's good for me. (and delicious.) 

people say the most meaningful things are done in private (prayer, charity, growth) and then when they are, they claim they don't see enough of it on the outside. i don't know. 

i'm fine with who i am. i believe now that i don't have to change to fit a christian stereotype. and i won't be sorry for that. the 'that's what she said' jokes might have to stop, though...

let your clarity define you in the end

why is everyone at my old high school such a nerd? (dang it, i want a periodic table shirt that says Se Xe   Ge Ni U S!!!) seriously, why so academically driven, northview? you're giving me the heebie jeebies.

i have this new thing, okay. where i'd rather save up for a few months and buy two things from armani than 10 things from anywhere else. because my brother (and mom, i guess) keeps stressing the importance of quality over quantity. but then, my brother's wardrobe is probably worth more than a reasonably priced car. but yeah. no more shopping. shopping comes once every few months. and if i happen to drop 50 dollars on a shirt, or a few hundreds on a jacket, then that's just how it's gonna be. 

... at least i'm not going on that 1k spending spree i was planning to go on? >__> it's all going in scottrade, baby. 

i wonder when you're going to realize that underneath the snap judgments of what people are lies who they are. and that just because we don't understand something doesn't mean that it's any less real to someone else. 

I think that it's brainless to assume 
That making changes to your window's view 
Will give a new perspective

(eee; sing it, ben.) 

I am not the answer (so forget you ever thought it was me)

so i was listening at work and thinking so hard, 'where have i heard this before...why is this so familiar. and inspiring, or something. think think thinkthinkthinkthink' and then it hit me like wham. pow!! friday night lights. and maybe if it had been any other movie, of if i'd seen it beside any other person, i would still be able to listen to explosions in the sky. *shrug* so it goes. 

i saw the prettiest chinese girl outside my apartment today on her way to work too. she was all done up with her heels and dressy clothes and shiny bag and i was like wao *___*i wonder why she's dressed like that, since she must be engineering. none of the dressy cat finance people work up in the mossville tech center. idk! but yeah. i looked down at my work boots and khakis. drat, i thought. ah well. so we get dirty in the shop at 5am. HH don't play around.

this summer i've decided to plant a lemon tree! and maybe some strawberries. but in a pot. i learned the hard way that strawberries not in a pot get eated by deer. 

here is what i know: everything i am is dependent upon second impressions. 

here's what i learned: if i want out, i need to stop waiting for others to leave me so i can avoid the guilt of leaving them. which means....crap, i need to respond to some facebook messages.

tempus fugit. i wonder what to do about that?

a little short on solar, but I haven't given in

faulty snapshot: ah well
faulty snapshot: cute boys come and go
deathladyrose184: This is true. x.x
deathladyrose184: But it would be nice if one of them would, you know...
deathladyrose184: Stop.

teeheehee ^___^