they go right through you

but i am truly sorry that someone burned and salted the earth of your heart so thoroughly.

one day we'll float like feathers, and i'll find you again.

we can roll around our past in our mouth thoughtfully, like an acquired taste.

that's all the past is, anyway.

the big apple

i dont think of you very much at all these days, but julian's in new york and all i could think of was how when i was there, i'd send you texts and emails and pictures of things and, at the risk of sounding like adele, try to make you feel my love. that is, btw, her only good song. and it is phenomenal. but i digress--

that was the beginning of the end, because i knew that all my messages henceforth would be outgoing.

and when you were there in new york a few months prior, you left me a voicemail. and your tone wasn't boisterous, or obnoxious, but genuine and somewhat affectionate as you told me about your day and asked me to call you.

but, good thing i deleted it, you lying sack of gorilla poo.

gaer;asdhslkd;ajd

everything is terrible right now. ant bites ==>swollen fingers, friction burn on achilles heel, cuts in random places. vague soreness in shoulders. HAIR WONT STOP DRIPPING WATER, OH MY GOD what the fucking fuck, why does long hair exist, i freaking swear --

deeeep breath. these things are all deeply annoying, but they dont feel significant enough to warrant outright telling someone about them. friction burn is seriously the worst.but then i thought about ant bites on friction burns, WINCE, and yeah things can definitely be worse.

warrior dash was yesterday! it went about as expected. my cardio seriously sucks balls, i need to get it together. i really wanna do it next year and actually try it to some degree of non-half-assery. training begins....as soon as i buy new running shoes.

i thought to myself,
when are you going to stop sabotaging yourself?
and then i didn't click on his changed profile picture to get a better look at the girl in the photo.
and my life was better for it.
and then i went to go work out,
but seriously,
i'm feeling a tiny bit triumphant!!