on one hand, i can see it. when you've lost someone, you want the whole world to know who they were. you don't want anyone to forget, least of all yourself. or what they meant to you.
on the other hand, i can't understand. especially for the loss of life.. grief has always seemed to me such a private thing.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
tl;dr
restless waiting. dragging out a slow death while knowing the end game is making me twitchy and full of anxiety. i want nothing more than to do something, and yet i can't. currently in limbo.
tattoos intrigue me. i've resolved to get one sometime, but require more thought on where. i also can't help but think people who get them, with their proud pictures on facebook, are incredibly stupid. trust me, i'm all for it. i actually thought that tribal pikachu on your forearm was kinda cool. and those gothic wings that cover your entire back? really, really hot.
do people think before they do these things? what about your wedding dress, or company dinners or things like that? are you going to deal that inconvenience forever to gain the lust of more boys in our too-short youth? it's not unheard of, i suppose. but these people won't necessarily be working in the corporate field, where rolling up your collared shirt would be a great thing to do. or maybe having a tattoo will make them more interesting at their wedding. idk. for me, the cost is too high. more deliberation required.
i'm trying to do one thing a day that scares me, inspired by baz luhrmann's sunscreen song. i think it'll be good. it's been good. i can look back and think of situations where if i had said to myself, 'hey, remember this can be your thing for today!" i know i wouldnt have regretted it.
sometimes it's stupid shit, like working up the nerve to talk to someone i think is interesting, or throwing caution to the wind. sometimes it doesn't really matter if i do it or not, except for tiny little parts in you that become glad you did it. other times, you realize there's a reason you were scared to do it. that doing shit like this is not always going to pay off. awkward silences, funny stares, near car crash misses.
idk, it was just a thought. this past week has been interesting, to say the least. never before, i think, have i felt conflicted so many times and then ruled in favor of 'ok'. when before the ideas would have been shut down with no room even for debate or indecision.
it's somewhat of a horrible feeling. but we press on, and i'd rather feel it every day, for what it brings me.
tattoos intrigue me. i've resolved to get one sometime, but require more thought on where. i also can't help but think people who get them, with their proud pictures on facebook, are incredibly stupid. trust me, i'm all for it. i actually thought that tribal pikachu on your forearm was kinda cool. and those gothic wings that cover your entire back? really, really hot.
do people think before they do these things? what about your wedding dress, or company dinners or things like that? are you going to deal that inconvenience forever to gain the lust of more boys in our too-short youth? it's not unheard of, i suppose. but these people won't necessarily be working in the corporate field, where rolling up your collared shirt would be a great thing to do. or maybe having a tattoo will make them more interesting at their wedding. idk. for me, the cost is too high. more deliberation required.
i'm trying to do one thing a day that scares me, inspired by baz luhrmann's sunscreen song. i think it'll be good. it's been good. i can look back and think of situations where if i had said to myself, 'hey, remember this can be your thing for today!" i know i wouldnt have regretted it.
sometimes it's stupid shit, like working up the nerve to talk to someone i think is interesting, or throwing caution to the wind. sometimes it doesn't really matter if i do it or not, except for tiny little parts in you that become glad you did it. other times, you realize there's a reason you were scared to do it. that doing shit like this is not always going to pay off. awkward silences, funny stares, near car crash misses.
idk, it was just a thought. this past week has been interesting, to say the least. never before, i think, have i felt conflicted so many times and then ruled in favor of 'ok'. when before the ideas would have been shut down with no room even for debate or indecision.
it's somewhat of a horrible feeling. but we press on, and i'd rather feel it every day, for what it brings me.
Friday, June 4, 2010
THE SHOW
jukebox was amazing. i'm kind of in love with the pianist, he played all those octaves so fast and accurately!! i wonder if he was classically trained. mini tigers was only okay, but not bad at all. at first i was surprised that free energy was headlining...and then they started and it was so fucking loud and fun and awesome that i was like oh. ok. awesome!!
it was their farewell gig that marked the end of their tour together, so for all 3 bands, members of the other bands would get up on stage and play tambourines and shit. it was so cute! everyone just rocking out having a good time. when free energy did it, i got to jump onstage and play some weird rainmaker that mini tigers used. it was kinda awkward lol but so much fun! I GOT TO DANCE ONSTAGE AT THE STAR BAR, GUYS. I DONT EVEN KNOW.
probably the best concert i've ever been to, for sheer good times.
i love star bar. the show was completely amazing.
COMPLETELY AMAZING.
it was their farewell gig that marked the end of their tour together, so for all 3 bands, members of the other bands would get up on stage and play tambourines and shit. it was so cute! everyone just rocking out having a good time. when free energy did it, i got to jump onstage and play some weird rainmaker that mini tigers used. it was kinda awkward lol but so much fun! I GOT TO DANCE ONSTAGE AT THE STAR BAR, GUYS. I DONT EVEN KNOW.
probably the best concert i've ever been to, for sheer good times.
i love star bar. the show was completely amazing.
COMPLETELY AMAZING.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
thought837
i was talking to someone over video chat since they are not currently in georgia, and hang out tiemz are hard with anyone anyway in the summer. staring at the tinny screen and listening to the click clack of the keyboard, i felt this immediate rush of fondness.
i am so very lucky to know the people that i know.
i am so very lucky to know the people that i know.
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