beau geste

i wanted to post on my twitter, badmouthing someone constantly if they didn't do anything to you doesn't make you a better person. it actually just makes you an asshole.

though, i realized a few things. i've done it before, to a friend. not sure if that's better or worse than badmouthing someone you barely know, but. also, i can do better than that. i can call up your best friend, and your ex girlfriend, own up to my negligence, and fix my friendships with them.

and i'd love to put that in a place where you would see it. start some passive agressive unspoken war of words and hearsay. but you're not even worth it. i don't give a shit about you. we have no history, and sure as hell have no salvage value.


you? you can go right ahead and keep talking shit. lie some more, while you're at it. personally i'm hoping it makes you feel great and helps you mature as an individual.

ahh, procrastination.

so i sort of remotely own will smith's will 2k single.....ON VINYL.

there are balloons at utc and one of them looks like a cookie monster NO MORE ELABORATION

skrillex show in two weeks i'm kinda excited it is DUBSTEP i hope it's insane

gathering courage for you you you you and you. and saving you for last because you make my insides feel funny.

i get deja vu all the fucking time now. i think i've seen the things i'm about to do, in my dreams before. i either need to stop remembering them or find someone to tell them to. else i may esplode.

grad students have feelings too, you know. today it was totally like

prof: we're going to start on this theorem because i don't want to waste the last five minutes of class
class: [collective groan]
prof: we won't finish, and it's just a little bit
class: [collective groan]
prof: oh come on.
class: [collective groan]

yep. you don't fool me. you all may be some freak geniuses that like to take hard classes 'in order to learn something' but at your core, and deep deep deep down, you're normal. ish. a little. passably. maybe

son, you fucked up.

we are just constantly trying to better ourselves, and love each other despite their faults, despite our own.

ah, i can be such a jerk sometimes.

in other news, i'm never drinking again. from now on i'm sticking to pot

(just.. kidding.)

eliot is a mastermind

The October night comes down; returning as before
Except for a slight sensation of being ill at ease
I mount the stairs and turn the handle of the door
And feel as if I had mounted on my hands and knees.
“And so you are going abroad; and when do you return?
But that’s a useless question.
You hardly know when you are coming back,
You will find so much to learn.”
My smile falls heavily among the bric-à-brac.

“Perhaps you can write to me.”
My self-possession flares up for a second;
This is as I had reckoned.
“I have been wondering frequently of late
(But our beginnings never know our ends!)
Why we have not developed into friends.”
I feel like one who smiles, and turning shall remark
Suddenly, his expression in a glass.
My self-possession gutters; we are really in the dark.

inane ramblings

oh my goddddd i've been fucking around for the past month doing jack shit and it's about to come full circle. today is my DO YOUR HOMEWORK OR ELSE day. jebus.



also this band is great. have had em on my ipod for the better part of a year or something, and just started getting obsessed with them a couple days ago. if you havent heard of them you are now well on your way to being ~indie~, ~relevant~, and ~hip(ster)~. JK they're not recent enough everyone in the know has heard of them you're too late.

yesterday at bisca's birthday party, when we were waiting for her i accidentally maybe whispershouted "shut the fuck up!" when the same group of guys started giggling and causing a fuss in the dark.

wow, was that effective.

incidentally, i didn't mean to, ok :< i just forgot that i was in a room full of super christians.

more and more, i think this:

your body is not a temple. it's an amusement park. enjoy the ride.
_anthony bourdain 

if i'm being super sacrilegious right now, idk. i just thought, a relationship with God is 100% first priority. but in a world of so much color and culture and whatever else; in a place where your life is rife with opportunities missed (you could have been a ballet dancer, or a lacrosse player, or a painter, or) why would you not struggle to imprint as much of that on your soul?

i think sometimes christians are just scared.

HYPOCRISY HYPOCRISY HYPOCRISY HYPOCRISY

that was my hypocrisy marquee. in my weak defense, i'm a coward in the boy arena, not the being okay with new (non boy related) things arena.

speaking of which, i realize fell more in it in the worst way, as he fell out of it. damn i'm like a psychic. i should have said yes, sure, ok. wrote it a thousand times on post it notes and stuck them to his forehead. i should have run screaming after him into the dark. haha 活該.

OK WORK TIME T____T

what is the sound of one hand clapping?

turn to stone

duuuude

i'm so obsessed with bassnectar. that shit is so heavy.



damn. just-- damn.


take a hint also take the hint
 
to understand or do something that is communicated indirectly I can take a hint – if you don't want to talk about it, that's OK with me. “Weren't you going to check your messages?” she asked. I took the hint and left.

See also: hint, take


evidently i don't know what this is, so i thought i would do myself a favor and look it up

har har self deprecation

do you hear that beat, jesus christ