i realized i forgot your gtID! and as someone who actually does remember everything, like the brand of that empty bottle of wine you kept on your desk, that's how much i pay attention to fucking detail, i got up and thought today,
i'm not gonna try and remember, even though i could with such great ease.
now i wait for the day i'm over you enough to be completely apathetic and stop posting emo posts after i wake up from weird, vivid dreams. soon, though. i'm so close, i'm so close i can taste it.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
one of these, not like the other
today i took my parents to little five points and they really liked eating at the porter.
i felt like a sheep herder in a pasture of hipster cows and homeless wolves
i felt like a sheep herder in a pasture of hipster cows and homeless wolves
short emo post that i'm going to spare twitter
some people make you feel lonelier when you're around them
some people make you feel more alone when you're around them
they're not the same, and they're both bad.
some people make you feel more alone when you're around them
they're not the same, and they're both bad.
Friday, July 29, 2011
demain
tomorrow my dad wants to go out and eat breakfast and then walk around/climb stone mountain.
i on the other hand would like to sleep in and surf the net. can i get a what what
he keeps saying he'll wake me up so we can go, and i keep refusing.
but secretly, i wonder if i should. i wonder how much time together we have left, and how many other people in the world aren't as fortunate. how many people would kill to spend time with their family.
it makes me feel a bit ashamed.
my parents are awkward and we don't speak, and we have a whole host of issues i can't even begin to get into. we'll never be the type to take pictures together, embracing. we'll never say i love you, or even voice any feelings resembling that.
but i've never, ever, ever doubted how much they love me, because they show it every day. my mother, in the way she frets and cooks for me; my dad in all the little things.
that's why the details matter so much to me. you can see everything in them. i look at the mundane life of my parents and see so much love, even though i don't know anything about my dad.
but i digress.
it will be incredibly unfun tomorrow...but maybe i should go anyway?
i on the other hand would like to sleep in and surf the net. can i get a what what
he keeps saying he'll wake me up so we can go, and i keep refusing.
but secretly, i wonder if i should. i wonder how much time together we have left, and how many other people in the world aren't as fortunate. how many people would kill to spend time with their family.
it makes me feel a bit ashamed.
my parents are awkward and we don't speak, and we have a whole host of issues i can't even begin to get into. we'll never be the type to take pictures together, embracing. we'll never say i love you, or even voice any feelings resembling that.
but i've never, ever, ever doubted how much they love me, because they show it every day. my mother, in the way she frets and cooks for me; my dad in all the little things.
that's why the details matter so much to me. you can see everything in them. i look at the mundane life of my parents and see so much love, even though i don't know anything about my dad.
but i digress.
it will be incredibly unfun tomorrow...but maybe i should go anyway?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
dishwasher soap
tentative photoshoot this weekend.
FIRST ONE EVER.
got some ideas rolling around in my head...
get excited.
FIRST ONE EVER.
got some ideas rolling around in my head...
get excited.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
/ragequit
today is the first day i actually felt..
... angry.
as the implications sunk in-- as i realized--
i'm not hurt or sad or angsting or trying to work out my feelings.
i am angry, and i legitimately think you are an asshole.
not some wonderful person who messed up. i actually think you are just an asshole.
now i'm fairly certain this isn't a good thing. but i'm not entirely sure it's a bad thing either.
enoughhhhh enough with defending you.
i am listening to a lot of angry fuck you music and then i'm moving on because i no longer think you're worth it.
... angry.
as the implications sunk in-- as i realized--
i'm not hurt or sad or angsting or trying to work out my feelings.
i am angry, and i legitimately think you are an asshole.
not some wonderful person who messed up. i actually think you are just an asshole.
now i'm fairly certain this isn't a good thing. but i'm not entirely sure it's a bad thing either.
enoughhhhh enough with defending you.
i am listening to a lot of angry fuck you music and then i'm moving on because i no longer think you're worth it.
ETA: and it's about damn time
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