living with yourself for not having taken a chance vs. getting rejected
regretting things you did vs. regretting things you didn't
shooting out of your league vs. settling
i don't know what i'm freaking out about. it's not like guys don't get rejected all the time.
but i just DO NOT HAVE THE BALLS TO DO THIS.
i just don't.
alskdjfhalksdjfsahkldfjawelfa;sdfsd
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
*twitch*
i really, really want you.
and there's three weeks left and i won't do anything but stare at you
and you won't do anything but stare at me
and i know you do.
would you seriously just put me out of my misery and ask me out already.
and there's three weeks left and i won't do anything but stare at you
and you won't do anything but stare at me
and i know you do.
would you seriously just put me out of my misery and ask me out already.
ugh it's late
me: lol
why did we do this to ourselves
this wasn't necessary
Evan: whoooo knows
because otherwise we wouldn't have met?
Sent at 1:38 AM on Tuesday
me: we met
you wouldnt have known that's when we met
Evan: and you wouldn't have cared
me: well said
Evan: 
I'm going to go to sleep now
my algorithm is doing its thing
and taking up 99% of the processing of all 4 cores of this computer
so I think it's in God's hands now
me: or mine
when i steal into your house
and break it
Evan: if you break my computer while this is running
I will ruin everything you know
me: you would have to ruin yourself
Evan: you would have already done that to me
me: worrrrth ittttt
Evan: I see
well, goodnight
I'll see you in hell
me: k i'll be carrying your broken computer with me
Evan: good luck. I will have broken your arms and fingers by then
we have a weird relationship
me: we very much do.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
let her have it
so jennifer's ex boyfriend has found someone new, and i think the reason she doesn't know is because she's not on facebook. and i don't think she's fundamentally over him, not like you have to be, because she still talks about him when she's drunk.
it's probably none of my business, right? i shouldn't tell her? but what if she finds out later?
one of the things i hate most is when things are dying or bad or someone's moved on and nobody has the guts to say anything, because that's when you're blind. the whole fucking thing is a blind spot. it's a blindfold. but i mean, maybe you can be happier that way? is that worth it? is ignorance really bliss?
i really wonder.
it's probably none of my business, right? i shouldn't tell her? but what if she finds out later?
one of the things i hate most is when things are dying or bad or someone's moved on and nobody has the guts to say anything, because that's when you're blind. the whole fucking thing is a blind spot. it's a blindfold. but i mean, maybe you can be happier that way? is that worth it? is ignorance really bliss?
i really wonder.
i love you joey comeau
On unrequited love
Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it's best to just walk that shit off. Find someone else to be excited about. It's like if you love ice cream but your ice cream man friend won't give you any. Maybe he's got a good reason. It cuts into profits. Who knows? But he likes you as a friend and wants to hang out anyway. It just drives you crazy to hang out with that dude, even if he's being reasonable from his point of view. So don't hang out with him. What, you ONLY like ice cream? It's ice cream or nothing? Don't be an asshole. Learn to love donuts.
Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it's best to just walk that shit off. Find someone else to be excited about. It's like if you love ice cream but your ice cream man friend won't give you any. Maybe he's got a good reason. It cuts into profits. Who knows? But he likes you as a friend and wants to hang out anyway. It just drives you crazy to hang out with that dude, even if he's being reasonable from his point of view. So don't hang out with him. What, you ONLY like ice cream? It's ice cream or nothing? Don't be an asshole. Learn to love donuts.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
pun so, so intended
IT'S TOO LATE, paperclip. you have been replaced with another just like you. i took you off for TWO SECONDS and you just decided to peace out like a motherfucker, no matter how many tens of seconds i spent trying to find you. literally TWO SECONDS! how dare you make a fool of me. but that's right. i went and got another one, a red clip. and now you'll just have to live with yourself. clipping what you can to get by, knowing that somewhere, some other clip is holding together my optimization homework.
oh, pull yourself together, man.
oh, pull yourself together, man.
Friday, November 18, 2011
TSPs and shit
think about this for a second.
you place a request into the stingerette system, and it determines where to insert that job such that you can pick it up en route, taking into account not only the source destination but also the sink. if you're going from IC to crecine, and you've got 4 other queued jobs/students, where they place a new job could differ than if you were to have entered 'IC to north ave', or 'Perry to crecine'. the variability increases exponentially with the number of queued jobs. but also with the fluctuation (e.g at one point you may have 4 jobs, at another you may have one).
additionally, consider vehicle constraints. the system must be programmed such that the van doesn't exceed capacity, and this is on a purely stochastic level when jobs are constantly entering and leaving. which is to say, REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT.
i really wish this dude in front of me would wear shirts that covered his midriff. why does that even. lookofdisapproval.jpg
anyway. what you essentially have is a traveling salesman problem, except all the nodes are CHANGING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE MOTHERFUCKERS, and really, i never find my isye more enthralling when i consider the sheer complexity and usefulness of its applications.
can you even imagine the depth of that model? jesus christ.
a few phd people/professors are working on optimizing the trolley system, but (and yes, that is nigh impossible) it doesnt even seem as impressive as the stingerettes. well, i suppose it's difficult in its own way, with stochastic interarrival times x 3827363819147. idk, whatever. tbdiscussed at a later time.
you place a request into the stingerette system, and it determines where to insert that job such that you can pick it up en route, taking into account not only the source destination but also the sink. if you're going from IC to crecine, and you've got 4 other queued jobs/students, where they place a new job could differ than if you were to have entered 'IC to north ave', or 'Perry to crecine'. the variability increases exponentially with the number of queued jobs. but also with the fluctuation (e.g at one point you may have 4 jobs, at another you may have one).
additionally, consider vehicle constraints. the system must be programmed such that the van doesn't exceed capacity, and this is on a purely stochastic level when jobs are constantly entering and leaving. which is to say, REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT.
i really wish this dude in front of me would wear shirts that covered his midriff. why does that even. lookofdisapproval.jpg
anyway. what you essentially have is a traveling salesman problem, except all the nodes are CHANGING ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE MOTHERFUCKERS, and really, i never find my isye more enthralling when i consider the sheer complexity and usefulness of its applications.
can you even imagine the depth of that model? jesus christ.
a few phd people/professors are working on optimizing the trolley system, but (and yes, that is nigh impossible) it doesnt even seem as impressive as the stingerettes. well, i suppose it's difficult in its own way, with stochastic interarrival times x 3827363819147. idk, whatever. tbdiscussed at a later time.
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