stagnancy

lessons learned from my brother:

your environment, relationships, job, and body are a reflection of you. get your shit together. don't take any bullshit. work at a job that stimulates you, read books, exercise regularly. get. your shit. together.

(get some damn furniture for your room.)

if you have bullshit in your life, it's good for someone to call you on it.

i think my brother makes me a better person, and i need to be around him as much as possible. he instills in me a need to move, and do.

he looked me in the eye before he left, and said, everything you do, you know.. attack it. 

where does the good go?

so i just found out someone i used to know now has a son. no wonder she got married so fast.
i suppose i am being a bit spiteful (or some other similar adjective), but damn those conservative christians really know how to make you feel horrible and judged and then go around and pull shit they supposedly disapprove of.

i am seriously so fucking done with god's fan club. maybe it's just been a really long time since i've been exposed to genuine christians though. it's sure as hell been a long time since i've been one.

i need to get my ass back to church.

eyes for eyes

we have to choose the places we don't walk away from.
and when someone said relationships were hard work, it didn't really strike me at the time how difficult it would be. to kiss someone goodbye when you feel like slamming the door, or to fight that base instinct to be petty.

but oh well, random thoughts.

i got a haircut today!

twin sized beds

more strange discoveries--
captain's log, if you will.
i grow used to morning breath so close to my face.
mundane and offensive and so unstartling as i roll over and he settles his arm around my waist.

islands

isn't it funny our hearts actually heal?
it seemed unfathomable at the time, even though i told myself logically every day that it would happen.
now, the thought that i gave someone i sort of-dated so much significance is what seems unfathomable.
her name was mallory, and i feel absolutely nothing.

dating industrial engineers....

kevin:  meow

listening to all my shazam tags over

passion pit made it in there

hehe

 me:  sigh, manners was such a good album

he made it as like

it was inspired from someone he was with, i think

so the whole album is pretty much dedicated to her

 kevin:  aw

i dedicate this.. order status message to you!

<3

such a good message

 me:  ....

ಠ╭╮ಠ

this is why i dated musicians!!

 kevin:  mew... 

want me to send you the xml? or the translated flat file?

the xml is more human readable, but the flat file is so raw.. and uh.. machine readable

 me:  .....................

.........................

 

oh alright, fine, i'll give you a free pass for those girls in ny if you don't give me any grief about those boys at that dance show.