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i was always more of a technical piano player, because all that was required was extra hours of practice, and not opening yourself up to let everyone see you cared about what you were playing.

to face the music so honestly, and have it possibly rejected as mediocre--especially as a growing musician-- is incredibly intimidating.

but to reach inside you and create feeling where there was none before, and then to lay it bare before the world unrepentantly, well, that's the most powerful thing about classical music.

you can spend your whole life scared, with a healthy foot in the door, ready to run away at a moment's notice. or to say, well, you weren't trying that hard anyway.

but there's no color that way.

there's perfection by rote, and no beauty or feeling.

i want feeling.