colly strings

you know what i love? i love that the first time you fall asleep with someone, spooned in their arms, you don't really even sleep. you just lie there, willing your hummingbird heart to slow down long enough to catch some zzz's. you think about how right it feels, and as it moves from 3:59am to 4:00am you're still thinking about it as you close your eyes out of polite pretense. because, hey, might as well keep some semblance of trying.

i love that they look over your shoulder at you for long moments like you're the best fucking thing that's ever happened to them. your eyes are closed but you're awake and god, what if you'd been asleep then? what if you'd never known what that's felt like?

and everything's careful, and you don't wanna move a muscle even though you're cramped and too hot and uncomfortable. because it's worth it, and you wake up the next morning just dying, from it all.

i love every second of it.

it will never mean any less than it does.