masochism

i will be the first to say that for some reason this weekend, things have been a little more vulnerable than usual. that weird ache when i think about kevin dating someone returned, but hopefully it'll go away soon. it's like, a really dumb twinge though.

it's become really easy, you know. to say to people, 'you'll get over it soon. it'll just be numb, and you eventually stop thinking of them.' because i was there. to an extent, i still am.
but i remember those attacks of nostalgia in between the days of slow recovery. how awful it was, heartsick and frozen with fear.

elysia's feeling particularly vicious today. and because i'm feeling vicious towards myself, this is probably the day i'll ask her how he's doing.

i couldn't ask her on a day she'd even think about sugar coating it.