transatlanticism

what is difficult but necessary is this: we have to make an effort with everyone we know.
(i'm decent at this if they're present, notoriously bad at this if they're not)

we live in an age where we ride the bus surrounded by people and check facebook on our phone, deluded into thinking that one is a lonelier place than the other.

but sometimes it's so damn hard to bridge the gap of unfamiliarity. to take an interest in the people around us, or to rekindle friendships that haven't burned out but have instead faded away. Perhaps it's apathy, or circumstances. and maybe it's hard because we don't wanna be left hanging, caring for someone who values us less than we would like to value them.

i'm not sure. i think loneliness is self inflicted.
and i'm no longer content, if i ever was, avec les personnes que j'avais apprivoise.

i don't want Deep friendships with people i'm currently around. or a Deep connection to my significant other and no one else.

i want Deep friendships with the people i love and have invested in, whoever they are and whenever i've invested in them. 


it's so true that you get what you give. and what i hear when i inwardly wonder that i'm (emotionally/physically?) distant is: "wah wah wah, familiarity isn't worth any inconvenience".