the call back

it would be so easy.
who knows where i'll be a semester from now. i have an out. i could claim distance.
i could have fun just dating james. he's really cute, and we have an awesome time together.

but something kind of nags at me.

if i dated him, i know it'd be temporary. i can't see myself years down the road, with someone like that. or someone like what eli tells me, anyway. and he's dating other girls right now too from the looks of it.
i could let it mean nothing to either of us. or something, at the same time. HA, yeah that works out well. (hint: that never works out well)

i don't wanna be with someone and not know why i'm with them. and i don't want an established expiration date, and. there's a lot to be said for chemistry etc but before that, you have to want the same things, or else it just ends kind of stupidly.
i want someone to trust and commit to and see a future with and settle down with.

i may deserve less, but i dont think i can settle for it.