i hate who i am when i'm around you.
you render me incapable of doing SIMPLE MATH. that is the absolute worst. i become equal parts sullen and then ebullient to make up for it.
i wish i could say, take a leaf out of evan's book. i'm always myself around him. but it's not you who changes, it's me. so whatever. i just wanna be normal again.
by the by, love, if you're wondering, the proper word is 'adoring'. i look at midsock, at jason and chad-- with adoration. whether they earned it or didn't.
i don't really know what i look at you with. i don't look at you anymore.
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