when did i get so fucking crazy?

cheshire

i couldn't do it. i just couldn't.

tell me, anyone. what's worse: looking through someone's phone for evidence, or finding it?

if you told me to judge between one or the other, i couldn't do it.

i wouldn't even consider it unless the circumstances were extreme.

i feel horrible even for that.

but i still don't know what's worse.

queen of hearts

3am moral dilemmas.

i hope i can live with what i'm about to do.

real estate

i kind of thought when i started dating, it would be this big to-do, and boys would hear about it and just be like wtf are pigs flying?

but when i met kevin, it happened so quietly. he asked me out, and i said yes, and on we went.

there were no awkward declarations of attraction, or angst filled periods of indecision.

he started showing up to my friends' parties. making friends with my friends. he made his presence known in such an unobtrusive way, with no whispers behind his back about being That Flying Pig.

maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.

beach house

you know what i realized about utc?

i always felt like i had to be weird to be 'relevant'.

like oh man, i'm into .. i dunno, chillwave shit that no one in their right minds would listen to, or paisley pants or weird pictures of tie dye cookie monster tommy wiseau.

you know what i realized about the real world?

you just have to be successful.

and you know what it is about life?

you have to find some grain of yourself that is immutably yourself, and hold the fuck on.