Saturday, April 2, 2011

thought it was a bad cough

sometimes i think i remember the little things about M the most. it's very easy to think only of the sad things, and forget the good. or only the good things, and gloss over the bad.

but then, i was always such a sucker for the details.

sometimes, i probably take for granted how he treats/has treated me. the way he went to get me a jacket those months ago, or when he wore that strange green shirt because he knows i like it. or when he played page france. idk, sometimes it's nice to think back these small things that are more than the sum of their parts.

in return, i suppose i offer the rejection of all those other boys in favor of devotion to you. i offer consistency, and anything of myself i could possibly give.

don't get me wrong, i am going to deeply regret it. and i already do. and to be sure, i expect exactly nothing from him. expectation is what kills. expectation has taken me on a roller coaster lately.

but still. i don't actually know what i'm writing anymore. i guess i'll stop here.

I have been risky in my endeavors,
I have been steadfast in my loves.
_mary oliver 

No comments:

Post a Comment