i don't think there's really such a thing as "winning the breakup".
while it does seem often that sometimes there's a clear winner/loser and other times there...simply isn't,
wouldn't you agree that the victories are always, always pyrrhic.
to reduce something to a game like that, to so cruelly assess who cares less, to take pride in having moved on or other people's breakups...
something about that doesn't seem very right to me either.
or is it naive to think of it in such a manner?
to deny the human nature of lashing out when wounded, eager to inflict pain--
what we are really doing is searching for empathy. it's just not fair,
that they should move on, and so you must eke out your misery in the form of anger.
we must be kinder. still, even when someone has the "better boyfriend" or "better girlfriend"
"upgraded" or "downgraded", so to speak,
one really has to wonder if it matters in the grand scheme of things.
does it justify the failure of this relationship? does that make the remnants less painful, or worthwhile, or slippery?
and if, in the context of this relationship, it means nothing
then what is the point of having "won"?