Sunday, June 17, 2012


i used to think it strange that people in relationships would revolve around each other. you know, the No Spaces Between Your Names syndrome. "hey, are BobbyandKate coming?" it becomes weird if you're not with your significant other. like what the serious shit, gaiz. and then i lived with kevin for two weeks, and saw him every day*. i would fall asleep and wake up the sound of him coming home at 2am. it seems so different from going out on dates.

and now, i find myself sad that when i go back to jeffhouse he's not there putzing around. we'll probably go back to dinners, and dates, and that's cool too. it's just strange because i think something has changed, and now i wonder where he is and what he's doing. it feels like he should be somewhere within my vicinity like some sort of electron cloud.

and since this is all still very new to me, i'm not sure if this is a normal progression or not. he'd never let me hear the end of it if he knew, either. and i wonder if we'll lose some of that familiarity, (the one that comes with domesticity) and if that's a good or bad thing. i'm really feeling my way around in the dark, and hoping to god i don't fuck it up.

*and holy mother of fuck, i'm not sick of him. i still like him. will wonders never cease? i really thought by the end of it, one of us would end up dead. or both. actually i was envisioning some sort of alcohol induced murder-suicide, so on the whole i'd say things turned out okay.

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