chains

here's something to chew on. things never go as planned. like, ever. like sometimes how you plan out just how you'll approach someone and what you'll say and how they'll react and what they'll say and all that good stuff. and it's fairly feasible too. definitely feasible, but the problem is, there's too much variability. like how sometimes you know exactly what to say and then the other person leaves before you can even begin to set these things in motion. shit like that. so things never go as planned, but that's ok, because they just go another, unexpected way, and you roll with the punches and make it as good as possible. that's why you have to capture these opportunities as fearlessly as possible in the time you have.

at the same time, there's a very real and deep pleasure in being able to daydream to the boundaries of your imagination. for me, i think about a day when i'd get to see that stupid phd kid somewhere other than the grad lab. it makes me smile thinking about walking through the door with arms full of groceries, calling out "tadaiiima, chompy"; and falling into 7 feet of stuffed shark while he puts away the milk. but you know, that's just me. domesticity is probably my most closely kept happiness. because i've said it before: when given no limits or boundaries, the geography of desire is at once grander and more humble than we ever imagine.

i mean, someone wise would of course say, 'keep dreaming, kid, it's never gonna happen.' and they would be right.

but it's nice sometimes to keep dreaming. it's a bit necessary. it keeps a part of us alive, a very, very essential part of us.

stupid shark.