I think I'm mostly better now! Not really sure what better is, tbh. But thanks to everyone who was patient with me while I complained my ass off. And bought me donuts or dinner or generally stuffed food in my mouth so I would stop eating half a meal per day. Part of it nags at me while I wonder, well, do you not care about those possibilities anymore? Because to appreciate your time here, you almost have to forget your time there. ('Look back fondly' 你的頭.) But it really meant that much to me, and I can't begrudge it that, I suppose.
Today is a brand new day.