Wednesday, May 25, 2011

il faut en finir

gross, i'm being dramatic again. and it's only 1:30 in the afternoon. DERP DERP

other people are so good at saying things you feel. maybe that's how we connect to each other; we are all so different and all the same. our guts, and roots, and wants (and we never stop wanting)-- the only thing people ever die of is hunger--

anyway, i've mostly stopped the tweeting, and talking about it, gchatting, facebooking, what have you. this blog was really the last place i was lingering. as was expected; writing, O solace through the years. the last...greedy pocket of feeling that i was hoarding. this, below? this is exactly it. something i doubt i could have ever articulated, a final letting go of something that shouldn't have meant as much to me as it did. as it still does. but we press on, we must press on.

Love_meme, I love you, I love posting on you but it's an hour until New Years and this year, 2011, I am not going to post about her at all. Not even one time.

So, this is the last time I'm saying it. I love you, I love everything you are and next year I'm going to be okay with you not loving me and our plans for a future not ever coming true because even though we haven't been together, I still love you and I love everything you are and you're an amazing person. You don't need me, heck, I think that's been proved for a while now and...idk, I guess it's fine, like, you don't. Ugh, I don't know how to word this at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't need you to love me, like me or even talk to me anymore because it doesn't really change anything at all, and that's okay.

lol how pathetic is it that I started crying typing this because letting go hurts so much. Man. Okay, last time. Iloveyou, iloveyou, iloveyou never ever change.


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