iiiiiiii can't do this thing with phd kid.

i'm beginning to wonder if it will ever just be easy.

but when you shoot yourself in the foot as many times as i do, how much blame to you have to give yourself?

one date this weekend, and one canceled date, and one hangout with a boy who wants it to be a date.

i swear, i swear, i swear after this i'm simplifying it all.

just feel free to punch me in the face if i don't manage it.

i'm very afraid to explore just how much of my crush on him (or on anyone, really) centers on lack of reciprocation.

how are we supposed to love people?

i thought myself really different when it came to mike. but what if it was just because he didn't like me anymore, that i was so willing to give? if things had continued, would i have been the one to run away?
we'll never know.. --well-- no. actually, i would have stayed in all those path permutations. i don't know why. i hope one day soon i'll like someone as much as i liked mike. that would be really, really nice, and i can't do this thing with phd kid.