my life is again a mess.
i have the kontrol freek job if i want it. but i'm worth double what they're offering, and it's a high risk high return job. i'm tired of talking about it again.
vday date with blake went well. i kinda blew him off today because of job freakout, so idk. i think we would be better as friends though, and we're on a path now that i'm not quite sure how to veer from. we are wonderful as friends. blake is pretty awesome, i can't lie.
kevin too. only with a lot less subtlety. the best way i can describe this particular relationship is that soon, very soon, we are going to have to take this to its logical and inevitable conclusion. fuck if i don't have a terrible weakness for competency. with this one... there's a frisson of tentative curiosity and pleasure that comes from that rare experience of feelings developing from nothing (as opposed to instant [potential] attraction). less like a tidal wave. less like a gust of wind and more like the slow shaky legs of a foal learning to stand.
what am i going to do about this job????? i can't believe i'm leaning towards leaving it on the table with no other interviewing prospects on the horizon. AGAIN. god dammit
tl;dr luvstep 3!!! i have too many boys and not enough job offers