Wednesday, March 4, 2009

i'd rather go it alone (na na na na na na)

today they were all like yeah, we need you to break this database up into 7 fields. which doesnt mean anything to anyone else, but is somewhat similar to the END OF ZE WORLD. 

have you ever looked at people and just known, from the way that they act and the things that they say, they they are gonna be great executives/bosses? you know, the kind where if every ceo and cfo were like that, we'd have no problems whatsoever? that's my supervisor. 

i mean, yeah, i do wonder what i would be doing instead if they hadn't closed down the place i was supposed to be working at in mossville. actual engineering? but i guess manf&prod is good too. 

yeah sure, the rules are there for a reason. but to me, coloring inside the lines all the time makes life a little less colorful. so what if people look at me funny, or question the things i do. or think of me differently because of the things that i say, or the people i touch. do you honestly think i regret it? do you think i'm going to say "you're right. you're so right, i'm not going to do that anymore. i don't know what i was thinking. that's unbecoming of me." 

well screw that. i'm on a mission, okay? i wanna try everything (exept for incest and folk dancing). and possibly not bunjee jumping, because augh O_O. so yeah, i wanna meet your friends who are smoking hookah by the volleyball net. let's go to the pottery workshop, or paint some mugs. have a few beers with the guys on a friday night. cook with an eggplant (it turned out delicious, by the way.). finish reading the bible the whole way through, even the boring geneology. let's go fumble around awkwardly with a tennis ball and a racket, or go exploring that abandoned insane asylum with the vaulted room that's too big to be a refrigerator. 

(on second thought, maybe that was better as just a one time thing.)

got a joint? i'll take a hit. cig? maybe once too. make a snowman with raisin eyes (my mom made fun of me the entire day because it was lopsided), date a girl, eat a slice of key lime pie from key west. get into that strange man's car because he keeps waving candy at me. LOL JAYKAY. 

yeah, i can see how people would think i'm not as avid a christian because of some of that. heck, even i think that sometimes. but i don't think trying new things is somehow going to impair my decision making, or make me an alcoholic, or stop me from having daily QT or nightly prayer. if that were the case, then i suppose time would be my worst enemy. i never stopped loving God, or wanting to glorify Him, and i really don't think i will. despite the spiritual cycles that every christian goes through. after all, i may eat more fruit some days than others, but i still know it's good for me. (and delicious.) 

people say the most meaningful things are done in private (prayer, charity, growth) and then when they are, they claim they don't see enough of it on the outside. i don't know. 

i'm fine with who i am. i believe now that i don't have to change to fit a christian stereotype. and i won't be sorry for that. the 'that's what she said' jokes might have to stop, though...


  1. agree.. to an extent. after all, it's not all about our own selves; whether or not we make other people stumble as a result of what we do.. i think that carries significant weight. which reminds me of this one sermon during winter retreat on HP + CP + CC = MI. haha.. i'll have to explain that one more some other time...

  2. oh and btw your tag is in violation of lent AHEM

  3. fine! i changed the tag! it still means the exact same thing, which i never understood about cussing, but okay.

    as for making other people stumble, i also agree to...a certain extent. we affect people no matter what we do. there's no way i can possibly (or plan to) live in fear of everything i do having some minute affect in infinite ways i can't begin to predict.
    in any case, the things i don't do have about as much chance of negatively affecting others anyway. some people i trust most drink like fish; some people that've caused the most bitterness have been clique-y closed minded christians.
    i'm not really sure if it's who you are or what you do that's more important, or if they're about the same...

  4. sigh. or you could just rename the tag completely.......

  5. well... this is just mho. you guys can take it or leave it.

    i think the importance lies in what you do, how you do it, why you do it, and maybe most of all where your heart is (and where your heart looks). who i am to myself is not nearly as important as who i am to God. my actions aren't nearly as important for me as they are for Him. i.e... i think one shouldn't think about his actions so much in terms of himself but instead, in terms of God.

    Some extra thoughts (NOT criticism, just _thoughts_):
    "...Therefore we conclude that a man is justified by faith apart from the deeds of the law." (Romans 3:28)

    "Thus, also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." James 2:20

    (btw, it's "effect," not [a]ffect!!! gosh Janet, grammargrammargrammar!!!!!!! <--that was criticism)