i just spent the whole day with dtong at starbucks, and i'm supposed to jam with vik (though i think we may raincheck), but
oh my god, it's like this sort of crippling loneliness that i haven't felt in a while
like i never used to be terribly lonely, because i didn't know what it was like to want or have someone's company 24/7. i never used to check facebook first thing i woke up in the morning on my phone, or last thing before i went to bed. who needs pseudo superficial details about the lives of people you don't even really care about?
i realized it's our desire for deep and meaningful relationships, and eventually it's just like mal de coucou: you can consume an entire buffet of chit chat and still be hungry.
sucks, because for a second there it really felt like he was enough of an asshole that i could just be angry and indignant the whole time. but eventually the sadness does curl its tendrils around your toes and settle in.
did you know in french, "tu me manques" means "i miss you"? but it literally translates into, "you are missing from me."
you are tehring me apaht.
you are missing from me.